Ann Cecilia Harington (nee Tilbury) 25.10.1937 – 3.8.2025

In a heartfelt column, Ann’s youngest daughter Georgina reflects on difficult and often frustrating weeks as her mother’s health declined.

Wonderful Hospice

When a loved one is in hospital it can be a very confusing and upsetting time; visiting hours don't coincide with doctors rounds and if the person you're visiting is confused then getting information about treatment can be almost impossible.

We found the time that mum was in St Peter’s, then later Woking Community Hospital, very frustrating. She'd be taken off for scans and when we asked for the results they would have no record; we'd ask about medication she had been on at home and why it was different, and never really got a satisfactory answer.

We were so keen to get her home that on the day we were told that she'd be coming home (for the third time), her sons-in-law essentially broke her out.

Once we were home we were pretty much on our own. During her stay in hospital we had taken every piece of advice offered and contacted everyone that we could think of: The Bedser Hub, Macmillan, Woking Hospice and many more that I can't remember now.

For me, my hero came in the form of Debbie, one of the community nurses from Woking Hospice, softly spoken, calm and knowledgeable. She answered our questions and got the ball rolling on many things to do with mum’s care.

With her we completed a Respect form, where you put down the patient’s wishes for any future treatment. Luckily, mum had had the foresight several years ago to give her three daughters power of attorney so this was all a bit easier than it could have been.

We're a practical family who have spoken openly about our wishes both medically and in death, in fact mum always had a file in her cabinet called Health. In the back of that was a sub folder called Death.

Debbie was the one to tell us that mum had just a "few short weeks left". At this point mum was sleeping most of the time so this was almost a relief to hear.

She called to check in on us, not just on mum but the rest of us too. She even mentioned that there were complimentary services such as massage and reflexology to give carers a break. We were also offered overnight respite.

The way they communicated with the district nurses was brilliant. They were able to call up and say: "I see mum has had this which means that this should happen now", or we would explain a concern and they would tell us that they would contact the district nurse to ask them to do what needed to be done – a big difference to how we found the poor, tired NHS.

I had always thought that the hospice was just a building that people stayed in when it came to end of life care but they are so much more, doing everything they can to make things as comfortable as possible for everyone involved.

I can't thank them enough for it.

In next week’s edition there will be a tribute to Ann by her loving family.